Improving…

Today is another good day. Steady improvement is in progress, slow process, but my trust,  hope, faith is in God.

Today I am doing a Bone Marrow Autopsy to help with an issue, we will find out results in about a week, so I will be at the hospital for another week at least.

I am thankful for another day to live my life to the fullest, and I am so blessed to have my family, friends, and people around me that build me up. I encourage you all that if you are down and out, surround yourself with the same foundation and you WILL pull through.

Keep looking up, because that is where is all is.

Branden

restless mind

this has happened to me a lot recently…woken up by who knows what just to lay wide awake in bed while my restless mind bounces from thought to thought.

i haven’t written in a while, and not whole lot has happened. there was a blow in the morale of my family recently with the news from my grandfather that the doctor thinks he has found cancer in his colon. many of you know just a short time ago i lost my uncle to his fight with colon cancer. i watched as he took his last breath while my parents held both of his hands and my dad held his face to his and told him how much he loved him, and that it was time to let go, and let God. it was then that he took his very last breath and i know that he was at least happy to know that we were all there by his side, because i know as strong as a fighter that he was he was scared beyond definition to finally take that last breath.

my wonderful grandfather who has been through his own battles, now has a new one on his plate. but it is amazing to hear him talk about the cancer because it proves that who you surround yourself with truly can change your attitude and views. he and i sat on the porch of my parents home just chit chatting and he told me “branden, i don’t have cancer, i just know i don’t”. my heart sank, because chances are he does. but, his head is held high, and it looks like i now know where my uncle got his fighting spirit, from his father.

another strong man in my life, is my own father. who has seemed to be the caretaker the past few years with the death of his mother and his youngest brother. now dealing with what might be a very difficult road ahead with his father, i can see it in his eyes that he is tired, worn out, feeling defeated, but knows he can’t show his true emotions, because the moment he loses strength is the moment those around him that need him, will begin to lose hope. and without hope, we lose.

this month is breast cancer awareness month, but it should just be cancer awareness every month. for those of you who have fought an won the battle over cancer, or those of you who are still fighting or if you know someone who has overcome or is fighting, stand strong, don’t lose hope, and focus on what is truly important in life, God, family, and friends. those 3 crucial things will be the rock that you will need to fight and win your battle.

and remember, keep looking up, cause thats where it all is.

branden

 

 

beautiful mess

almost four years ago i moved to san antonio. i was running away from a town, and a life that was literally consuming my me and destroying it faster than you could possibly imagine. sadly there are things in my past that i did that i will not be able to even tell the very ones who unconditionally love me. no matter how far or how long or even how fast we run away from the past, it will always be apart of who we are, good or bad. i believe that we can either let it define us, or we take control and write a new and better chapter of our lives. i am not proud of where i have been, but i am confident that i am covered by grace, loved always by the only ones who matter, and blessed to have a beating heart to allow me to enjoy each day i am given. because the saying is true, each day of life is truly a gift because tomorrow isn’t promised, wait, not even my next breath is promised, so i have to pick myself up, dust myself off, and keep pushing forward. i am truly His beautiful mess. what i mean by that is, no matter how messed up i feel my life gets sometimes, i am always going to be beautiful in His eyes. so today, if you feel down and out, don’t give up, don’t let go, because He never will. just keep looking up, cause that’s where it all is.

branden

i curse the apple

so why is it that it takes so many hours to backup, update, download, sync, yada yada yada anything with apple products? yesterday i try to do the newest update for my iphone and of course i mess it up and lose all my apps and info on my phone. side note: i was born blonde. so now i sit in my dads office at my parents house watching time slip away as i wait for my phone to update the right way this time. i better be able to walk on water or have a awesome super power for having to wait this long for a simple update. and to make matters worse, the green bar hasnt moved in like 45 minutes, it better make a huge jump soon or i might just lose it.

anyway…today is sunday, and sunday is family day. and by family day i mean we all gather at my parents house for lunch and it’s the chance for all of us to have a lazy day together. laying around watching golf tennis amazing race, wait, its cowboys season so, football, all laying around watching football. it is also the time where i can do my laundry and since my mom just got a brand new, candy apple red, GE washer and dryer, i think it may wash my clothes so well that they come out with the price tags back on them, like brand new clothes, we’ll see.

it’s just another manic monday tomorrow, and that means i will go in early cause it seems mondays always like to pile it on real early in the morning to welcome you to a new week. october 16th begins business casual dress attire for the executive office staff so that’s exciting, just needs to get here sooner. returning to work also reminds me of my little mexican ball of sunshine christiana. she is debating leaving the JW because the associates in her department make her life miserable, and yes i will use that word even though she won’t because she is a people pleaser, they make her miserable not nearly as much as they made me when i was working with them. i hope she thinks about this before she makes a mistake and leaves. she belongs at the JW and most importantly she belongs where i can keep an eye on her every day. just saying. i have learned over the years, you will always have an issue where you work, it is what you do with that issue that defines you.

ok, enough preaching. gotta go stare at the iphone update some more. until next time, keep looking up, cause thats where it all is.

branden

let this journey begin

so i have been without a laptop for quite some time now. it has kept me from my second love in life, next to designing, blogging. so much has happened this year that I would not have enough space on this website to even begin to tell you.

my hope is that this journal is not only a way for me to express myself, and a way for me to keep the cap of the bottle I call life slightly loose so that I don’t explode within from all the craziness in my life but also a way for you out there who read this to know that you’re not alone in this world. too many times life makes us feel like we’re walking through it alone, but in reality, there are so many people out there just waiting for you to ask them to walk with you. i like to think i am that person.

so with my new job i have discovered what the definition of a weekend is. it is nothing but awesome to for the first time in my life, have a monday – friday job. i am truly blessed, honored, and of course swamped with all that I have been given, but i wouldn’t change it for anything. i have truly found my place.

so i will keep it short. more to come tomorrow. until then, keep looking up, cause that’s where it all is.

branden